So fresh so clean

Winter is here in all her glory, all bow down to the Queen.

Brrrrr

Brrrrr

I am currently rugged up in bed with my cup of tea and have the heater going. I kind of wish I was in the forest, birds singing, wind yelling, air so crisp you feel its purity and a nice hot fire. But alas I am not. I am here in my little one bedroom apartment with my incense burning.

I have never loved Winter, I do enjoy her solitude but I definitely prefer warmth, I don’t know why but I think I am just a Spring baby, oh thats right I am a spring baby ;) Give me warmth any day, I just love how amazing everything is and I adore being outside running around feeling the sun kissing my cheeks and hugging my entire body, dancing under the trees and swimming in the ocean.

Summer I miss you already

Ocean

On the bright side though last week I was lucky enough to be able to visit the ocean, even if it was freezing outside. The water funnily enough was actually warm and I spent a good half hour walking through it. It’s funny how much I love the sea. It has smashed me up against rocks, taken me under and thrown me out and then pulled me back under and yet I still love its bright blue saltiness.

ocean2

One thing it does do for me is create peace

and for that, I thank you.

What am I most Proud of?

Good morning and happy hump day to those at work, only 2 more days till your weekend. I have been off work since Friday afternoon and most people who follow me on instagram would know why. I have become more open with my personal life on the internet and in general with friendships/relationships because I am really wanting to encourage love and truth within myself and others.

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Something I have been struggling with over the past couple of days is coming off a medication that I have been on for the past 6-8 months for an undiagnosed nerve problem that I have been suffering from for the past 2 years. This medication was both a saviour and a curse. I had many problems but I also had some amazing results. The negatives have outweighed the positives so I spoke with my GP and we discussed weening me off it. So the above is currently what I am and have been going through over the past week. I am not going to lie about how difficult this is for me to discuss as I have been struggling a lot with withdrawals and reoccurring nerve pain.

As I have written on my instagram post, I am discussing this because I feel it is something that people need to learn and be informed about. Medication can definitely help but it can also cause so much more heartache. Throughout the past 6 months I definitely stopped being in as much pain but I lost most emotional connection with a lot of things in my life, I also had some major memory loss during outings with friends, difficulty sleeping, anxiety, labido loss and much more. If I had my time again I would definitely have tried a more holistic approach but I was in pain, I needed a quick fix and I am happy to say that I am now going to try and resolve this undiagnosed nerve problem in a more natural way whatever that may be. So wish me luck, I know it is going to be a long journey.

I am so blessed to have my partner and to really start to realise who my true and dearest of friends are throughout this entire process. I thank you so much for all your help and encouragement.

 

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My beautiful flowers I received coming home from the hospital yesterday. <3

 

This brings me to the next part of my blog.

I entered into a competition the other day and it was all about writing what it is you are most proud of or what you have achieved over the past 4 years. I had never really thought about this deeply. I had to go to a place that I was actually not very comfortable going, not because I am not proud of what I am or what I have achieved but because I have always found it hard to talk about myself or encourage/love myself. I thought I would share what I ended up entering.

“What am I most proud of? What a question and where do I start. I know that this is supposed to be based on a 4-year period of your life but I am so very proud of how I have turned my entire life around throughout my life. I mean the past 4 years have been both painful and eventful but my life is a novel waiting to be told and I am only 26 years old.

Cutting a life story short as much as possible, I will just briefly explain: I spent my entire childhood being mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually abused along with my sister and two brothers. (I hope they are ok with me sharing this) We endured so much along with my mother from my father and really never knew what it was like to live a normal life (whatever normal is). We were lucky to have someone come and help us escape from my father and spent two long years in a shelter hiding from my father… At the end of all this I would say I was 12/13- during our entire childhood/upbringing my mother was not allowed to touch us, love us, feed us or teach us. I spent a lot of my time growing up and becoming mother to my siblings, mainly my oldest brother who I think struggled the most. We ended up finally getting to attend school, only to be picked on and struggle badly as we had never spent time with other children and had not been taught anything about school. My siblings either ran away from home, struggling with my mothers new partner who also struggled with anger, (I think it was more to do with taking on four pretty messed up kids) or just dropped out of school. (I am super proud of all my siblings now as they are all doing as well as the can having gone through what they went through- one of the reasons I have had the ability to get through is because of there determination and strength). During this time I had promised myself that I would never allow myself to let my father get the better of me or let myself get the better of me. I promised myself to complete school and to get a good job and to find someone who would never abuse me.

This brings me to the past four years of my life, I can not pin point exactly where I was but I do know that I was not happy. I may have succeeded in areas of my life, such as work. I was an office manager for a neurosurgeon practice and had previously worked as a high school counsellor. I had completed study after school, year 12 and was now studying Business management. I may have succeeded in having plenty of friends which I had never had as a young person and I was in a relationship with someone that I thought I was going to marry. Having all of these things did not help me with that feeling I felt every day when I woke up and lay staring at my roof just thinking about how hurt, sad and alone I was. I spent many, many years like this, I would cry a lot, fight a lot with my partner and I would fight with myself a lot as well. I used to look in the mirror every day thinking how ugly I was, yet I modelled, thinking that I was worthless and that I didn’t deserve anything and also drinking and smoking myself into even more sadness. I mean I had great moments, enjoyed good times and loved those in my life, but I was so unhappy within myself. I eventually realised that I was not where I was suppose to be, it took me a good 9 months to finally build the courage to leave my partner in the house we had together, (This being the hardest thing I ever did as I had spent 4/5 years with someone I would say was my best friend) to move out and live alone in a little unit and to get a completely new job. Having done this (after crying a lot) I felt amazing, I had finally made some decisions for myself and I started getting my independence back. I finally had some strength.

Moving on…. the past two years have probably been the most amazing two years of my life. I would not have said this two years ago but I sure do feel that way now. I have met the love of my life, got engaged in New York, lost my full time job, lost all my belongings in a flood, found a new place to live, suffered from back problems and nerve pain, lost friends, made new friends, found a new job, and much more, but something I am mostly proud of is that during all of this I finally learned how to let go and to love myself. I think it all started 12 months ago when I started yoga teacher training; I was going through so much with my body constantly being in pain from an as yet undiagnosed issue with my nerves, and I was also working through a lot of internal emotional distress stemming from my childhood. Throughout the process of learning yoga I really started to learn about myself. I addressed many old issues that I had been battling with my entire life and I also learnt how to communicate with not only my partner but my friends and family. I let go of the worry that I was going to somehow be punished for everything I did in my life and allowed love to shine and overflow. This will be a constant journey for me but everyday gets easier and I feel happier and brighter knowing this about myself. I am now getting back into helping others through counselling and yoga, I teach them but I am also teaching myself. I am realising that things are just things and they have no power over my now and my future and that all I want to do is be happy and surround myself with happiness, love and light.”

I am very proud of myself for just writing this. I actually felt a cleanse and I hope that by me sharing this with you I can encourage those who may be going through something similar or are dealing with ongoing issues to write down the things you are proud off, to learn to let go and to learn to love yourself for who you are and how strong you are. Something to remind yourself everyday is that you are stronger than you think you are, you will be scared but you will make it through and there are so many other people out there who’s hearts are open to help and love you.

 

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Last of all I am doing a giveaway which I am going to draw this weekend. If you would be interested in getting involved please see the capture below, find me on my instragram, share, follow and repost.

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Thank you for letting me share, much love.

 

Namaste

Namaste

Change Brings New Life

It has been awhile since I have posted anything on here, I have been going through a lot of changes over the past couple of months. Whenever I would have any spare time I would end up thinking about writing but instead I would sit down with a glass of wine and watch one of my favourite crime shows. So today in-between work I decided it that I would like to share a few of these changes with you.

You may have seen my post about loosing my job. Being the type of person who needs to have elements of stability in her life, this came as a massive shock and was something that really hit me hard. I have been working full time for many years and this job I had invested a lot of myself into. It took me some time to understand why this had happened to me. Last year when I was having health problems the one stability in my life was full time work. Knowing that I could pay for MRI’s, specialist appointments, CT scans and many more really set my mind at ease. So yes I had some major anxiety.

A week after I found out I lost my job, I had my yoga retreat. This was a celebration weekend for all us yogi’s who were graduating from our 9 month teaching trainer course. This funnily enough came at the perfect time, although I didn’t feel that way at the retreat I now believe it was the best thing for me. During the retreat I ended up going through some pretty intense realisations about myself. I addressed some past issues that I knew I was still struggling with (I will always be working through) and came back feeling very raw but in a good way. I can’t really explain what raw means or tell you what changed inside of me, all I know is I feel completely different.

I had a week left to rap things up with my old job when I got back from my weekend away and during this time I texted my old boss from a previous job I worked at to let her know what had happened. I have known this beautiful soul since I was 13 and she called me straight away to say she wanted me to come over to have a chat. The universe had aligned it seemed. She was needing someone to come take over 3 days of work a week and was feeling stressed at the thought of finding someone. I obviously adore her, I needed work and she needed me so I agreed that until I knew what I was going to do I would come and work for her again. I had also been asked after finishing up at my job to continue to look after some things for my most recent boss’s business, which is minimal work but it lets me still feel a connection to the job I had invested so much of myself into.

During all of these things happening to me I had also met up with a lovely lady named Hayley for a meeting about maybe teaching some yoga classes for her new studio she was opening. Yoga is something I am very passionate about and obviously I agreed to teach some classes. Hayley is so very talented, she is a beautiful and strong woman and I feel very humbled to be able to teach classes at her beautiful studio in Windsor on Newmarket road. Click on the link to below to find out more information on Hayley Grace Yoga.

 

 

Sometimes the things in life that we see negatively, decisions we are forced to make or that are forced upon us are actually just little nudges, kind loving nudges to help us change direction, move forward, or backwards to allow for the new to come in, to allow for something that we would never have thought was possible. I am very grateful that I lost my job, obviously it has taken me a few months to get to this point, to understand why I needed to take a different direction but I am thankful that it did happen.

I know I have posted a few things about my health, but I haven’t really gone into it in depth, today is not the day for it but I will be addressing this soon. Every day is an ongoing struggle, I am constantly challenged mentally, physically and emotionally… I am learning that I am a very strong woman, that I am a very compassionate woman and that I want to help others more and more now that I have learnt how to help myself. I look forward to sharing this with you when the time comes that I can be completely open.

I don’t know what else is out there for me, but I am embracing everything and anything and being open to change. I am also taking on another role soon which will be something very different for me and I am so excited. If you get a chance this weekend come say hello to myself, my dear friend Rebecca Cobbing and the amazingly talented Wendy Louise at the Queensland Brides Wedding & Honeymoon Expo. Click on the link below to find out more details.

 

3 more sleeps till the Queensland Brides Wedding & Honeymoon Expo, come say hi at booth 154. Wendy Louise Designs and Rebecca Cobbing Couture will be there with their own ranges and all the new Belle Folie stock. They will be hosting 2 mini workshops each day at the booth.

 

 I hope you all have an absolutely wonderful Wednesday. Namaste.

Everyday is a new day, a new beginning to make your mark on the world. Your best teacher is your last mistake ❤️ learn, grow and move on.

Everyday is a new day, a new beginning to make your mark on the world. Your best teacher is your last mistake ❤️ learn, grow and move on.

Take a chance I dare you

Happy Hump Day.

I am a little late with this post and I apologise to those who asked me to get this out last week. I have been finding it hard to make time to write over the last couple of weeks.

Today’s post is all about “yoga poses that can benefit you and can be done in a short amount of time”. I was asked by a few friends to put together a few very simple yoga poses that can be done at home that can help to get them started and get them into the habit of doing at least ten to fifteen minutes a day. I have realised that there is no hard and fast science to how long it takes to create a habit, only that once something is implemented into your lifestyle on a regular basis the more likely you are going to want to do it. If it is beneficial, relaxing and enjoyable then the habit will form quicker then other types of things you may have tried before. So I thought I would share with you a little of my personal journey of how I got into doing yoga and how a few poses a day gradually encouraged me into not only practicing daily for up to 2 hours but has given me new direction in my life and I am now looking forward to teaching classes and supporting others on their journey.

Last year while going through some very hard times with my health, I did some much needed soul searching. I had become so depressed that I questioned why I was living on this earth. Everyday was a battle from the second I woke up to the second I fell asleep. I was truly suffering with my health, physically, mentally and spiritually. After attending many doctors appointments, having multiple radiology scans and blood tests, taking different types of prescriptions, I was finally given some medication to “help” (key word) me get myself back on track.

During my soul searching, I found myself reading a lot (mainly to try and find out what was wrong with me) and learning how stress, anxiety, past tension/experiences can cause sicknesses in a persons body and it finally clicked… I have been sick my entire life, so many horrible things have happened to me, I have suppressed so much, no wonder I am going through all of this. I was told by multiple specialists and my physiotherapist that I needed to start building my muscles, strengthening my body and immune system and I was told by a counsellor that I needed to start releasing all my built up tension, hate, sadness and frustration. I knew I had to do something. I decided that I was going to go to yoga classes and acupuncture to start working through some of my muscular problems. 

When I first attempted my morning yoga sessions, I was only doing it because I knew I had to. Every morning I forced myself to get up that 5 minutes earlier so I could do a few stretches… I would then go about my day still being in pain and not feeling or noticing any sort of results and this got me down a little… It was a good week or two before I actually started noticing any results and recognising the differences in my body. After around a months time I started going to proper classes and I enrolled in a level one teacher training course. I didn’t enrol because I wanted to teach yoga, or learn about yoga, I enrolled because I knew if I was spending money I would force myself to attend classes and I needed that kind of motivation. I am so glad I did.

I would definitely like to speak more about my journey with yoga and the amazing gratitude I have for allowing myself to grow and become a practicing yogi, but for now I would like to give some answers to the questions I have been asked and show you a few easy poses that you can do to help get you started in the comfort of your own home. This sequence I have is very simple and shouldn’t take you more then fifteen minutes to do (for those that don’t have much time in their day). If you have more time, then you can hold the poses longer which will be more beneficial for you in the long run.

1.

Savasana-pose

Lay your mat down, if you don’t have one use a towel and start in Savasana (this is called corpse pose). While you are in that pose start to think about what it is that you want to get rid of, what it is that is causing you to be anxious or frustrated, what has you feeling lethargic and run down. Take some nice deep breaths and let that breath reach it’s way down into your stomach and chest and imagine that all this stagnant energy, this frustration, this anger, this tired and run down feeling is being captured by this breath and on the exhale you release every little tiny essence of it all out and let it all go. Do this a few times, breathing in deeper every time. Once you have done that go back to a normal relaxed breath and begin.

2.

supta-baddha-konasanaSupta baddha konasana (reclined bound angle pose)

Bring your knees together and plant your feet on the ground, once planted let both legs open and drop to each side of the your body, place the base of each foot together and allow your arms to lay on the earth away from your body, relax. Hold this for awhile.

  • Frees energy flow in your pelvic area.
  • Stimulates your abdominal organs and improves mobility in digestive organs.
  • Helps relieve the symptoms of stress, mild depression, PMS and menopause.
  • Relaxes your mind and the central nervous system.
  •  Stretches your inner thigh and groin muscles.

3.

IMG_7257Bring your knees up to our chest (Apanasana) and tightly squeeze them together. Hold for at least a minute if possible, now release and release your legs back to the floor.

  • Gets rid of tension in your legs and lower back.

4.

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Setu Bandhasana (Bridge pose or spinal lift)

Lie flat on the floor, if you have a sore neck place a towel or blanket underneath it for support. Bend your knees and set your feet on the floor, heels as close to the sitting bones as possible. Pressing your feet and arms actively into the floor, push your tailbone upward toward the pubis, firming (but not hardening) the buttocks, and lift the buttocks off the floor. Keep your thighs and inner feet parallel. Clasp the hands below your pelvis and extend through the arms to help you stay on the tops of your shoulders. Always remember to breathe deeply and relax as much as possible. Lift your chin slightly towards your chest, firming the shoulder blades against your back. Hold for at least 1 minute and release with an exhalation, rolling the spine slowly down onto the floor.

  • Streches your chest, neck, spine and hips.
  • Strengthens your back, buttocks, and hamstring muscles.
  • Calms your brain and central nervous system which helps alleviate stress and mild depression.
  • Massages abdominal organs and improves digestion.
  • Stimulates the lungs and thyroid glands and helps relieve the symptoms of menopause.
  • Reduces anxiety, backache, headach and insomnia.

5.

IMG_7247 Sit in Sukasana (sitting on your sit bones with legs crossed in front of you) raise your hands and put your left hand on your right knee as you twist with your back and neck behind you and the other on the floor holding your spine upright, hold for 1 minute and repeat for the other side.

  • Stretches the spine, shoulders, and hips
  • Massages the abdominal organs
  • Relieves lower backache, neck pain, and sciatica
  • Helps relieve stress
  • Improves digestion
  • Especially good in the second trimester of pregnancy for strengthening the lower back

6.

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Cat and Cow Pose:

Start on your hands and knees in a “tabletop” position. Make sure your knees are set directly below your hips and your wrists, elbows and shoulders are in line and perpendicular to the floor. Center your head in a neutral position, eyes looking at the floor.

As you exhale, round your spine toward the ceiling, making sure to keep your shoulders and knees in position. Release your head toward the floor, but don’t force your chin to your chest. As you inhale, lift your sitting bones and chest toward the ceiling, allowing your belly to sink toward the floor. Lift your head to look straightforward. Exhale, coming back to neutral “tabletop” position on your hands and knees. Repeat at least four times.

  • Stretches the front torso and neck
  • Provides a gentle massage to the spine and belly organs

7.

IMG_7250

Bah-LAHS-anna (Child pose)

Kneel on the floor. Touch your big toes together and sit on your heels, then separate your knees about as wide as your hips. Lay your torso down between your thighs, lengthen your tailbone away from the back of the pelvis while you lift the base of your skull away from the back of your neck. Lay your hands out in front of you or beside your body. Rest for as long as you like.

  • Gently stretches the hips, thighs, and ankles
  • Calms the brain and helps relieve stress and fatigue
  • Relieves back and neck pain when done with head and torso supported

8.

IMG_7246

Gomukhasana (a variation of Cow face pose)

Sit on your legs with your knee’s folded and your heels underneath your buttocks. Stretch one arm to the roof while the other arm swings behind your back in-between your shoulder blades. Bring the arm that is stretched to the roof down towards the other and If possible, hook the right and left fingers together. Pull your hands together, firm your shoulder blades against your back ribs and lift your chest. Try to keep the arm right near your head right beside it. Hold this for at least a minute and then change arms.

  • Stretches the shoulders, armpits and triceps, and chest

9.

IMG_7251

AH-doh MOO-kah shvah-NAHS-anna (Downward Facing Dog)

I struggle with this pose a lot. If I am not warmed up I can not straighten my legs and my back tends to curve. I decided to show you how I do it if I am struggling so you can see that even if you are unable to plant your feet on the ground you will still reap the benefits.

Come onto the floor on your hands and knees. Set your knees directly below your hips and your hands slightly forward of your shoulders. Spread your palms, index fingers parallel or slightly turned out, and turn your toes under. lift your knees away from the floor. At first keep the knees slightly bent and the heels lifted away from the floor. Lengthen your tailbone away from the back of your pelvis and press it lightly toward the pubis. Against this resistance, lift the sitting bones toward the ceiling, and from your inner ankles draw the inner legs up into the groins. Then with an exhalation, push your top thighs back and stretch your heels onto or down toward the floor if you can. Straighten your knees but be sure not to lock them. Firm the outer thighs and roll the upper thighs inward slightly. Narrow the front of the pelvis.

  • Calms the brain and helps relieve stress and mild depression
  • Energizes the body
  • Stretches the shoulders, hamstrings, calves, arches, and hands
  • Strengthens the arms and legs
  • Relieves menstrual discomfort when done with head supported
  • Improves digestion
  • Relieves headache, insomnia, back pain, and fatigue

Come up into a stand position after downward dog, (Tadasana) place your hands on your hips.

10.

IMG_7253

Uttanasana (standing forward bend)

Exhale and bend forward from the hip joints, not from the waist. As you descend draw the front torso out of the groins and open the space between the pubis and top sternum. Breathe and your head hang from the root of the neck, which is deep in the upper back, between the shoulder blades.

  • Calms the brain and helps relieve stress and mild depression
  • Stimulates the liver and kidneys
  • Stretches the hamstrings, calves, and hips
  • Strengthens the thighs and knees
  • Improves digestion
  • Reduces fatigue and anxiety
  • Relieves headaches

To finish bring your hands back onto your hips and reaffirm the length of the front torso, press your tailbone down and into the pelvis and come up with a long front torso. Shake out your legs, arms and stretch your neck from side to side.

Always remember to breathe, when we calm our breath, we calm our mind. What a great way to start your day.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me. I would love to know if this helped you at all and I encourage you to give it a go tomorrow.

Enjoy your week, until next time, Namaste.

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For all sourced information and more visit this webpage (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/491)