Wow 2015 is here already and January is almost over. Time just passes by so quickly.
I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and New Year. I know Matt and I ate way to much and probably drank way to much as well. We sure did enjoy ourselves though.
2015… This year is going to be one big one. Matt and I are getting married, we are taking a 3 week holiday overseas to rest and rejuvenate, pretty sure our last actual holiday was New York. So way to long ago. I intend on studying again, along with working permanent part time and teaching yoga. I hope to visit Bali to experience the culture and learn more about yoga as well as take time to really work on being healthier and happier. Matt is going to be working hard on building his Sound Engineering Business, which I am so excited about, he is one talented man. I can’t wait to see him doing more musically as well. So a very inspiring year ahead for us.
Now to to explain the title of this blog post. I must say it has been a very interesting experience having the past rear its head, I haven’t said ugly head because in a way it has been something I was able to look at positively.
Over the last couple of weeks I have been going through old diaries, photo’s and documents. I spent a lot of time in my early 20’s writing my feelings down on paper, paintings and keeping musical lyrics that I connected with. I was, lets say… lost in a dark place. It was interesting to me, now that I am 27, happy and feeling excited about my life and future, how when reading or going through past photo’s etc, I didn’t experience any attachment. I wasn’t angry, sad, or even weirded out… I was actually happy, I was surprised at my talent with writing and my artistic flare… I was happy that I was no longer attached to that negative space and I was happy that I was able to see how much I had grown.
I know I haven’t blogged in a while being so busy but after having this wonderful experience I felt I needed to share with you. I think letting go doesn’t mean forgetting, it just allows you to grow and not attach to the negative, it opens you to being positive and I am so thankful for that.
Now I am going to leave you with one of my poems I wrote in 2006, I was going through a pretty hard time. I have so many of these little gems, although it is dark, it makes me smile, it makes me glad that I was able to experience such emotion and I was able to come out of the darkness and into the light.
A stench so strong, this infernal demise
Desolation and absolution
Serenity in thine eyes
To be complete to suffer in confusion
This window of tricks, smashed and broken
Words thrown back and forth, innocence
The devils tramping ground
The soft flesh dripping with sweat
The wind carried the sound of screams
The burning cent lingered
A blind red rage pulsing
The autumn leaves begin to fall
The sky is filled with a sea of white to thick to see through
A bright light beams in the distance and closer it moves now towards you
That journey the inevitable one you’ve been chasing
Now appearing and just as you new it would, you see it disappearing
Flowers start to bloom and the trees flourish
That red apple bitten; now you see the world for what it is
Selfishness has no end, the circle of craziness begins
Lost souls the streets filled with emptiness
Each goal set reached, each chase complete
Thriving for what we no is obscene
Tormenting and torture
Inevitable you seem to feel incomplete
I walked you through the Garden of Eden
I skipped to every beat
I lay in that which you called my dominion
Only to experience bathing in ridicule
My lungs opening as every breath cuts deep
A soft mixture of burning, thus into my being
Searching for the harsh life distaine
Tasting this infernal darkness